I continue listening to this book on #audible after hearing about it on #RatchedandRespectable from the author, Councilman Will Jawando.

As I continue to read, My Seven Black Fathers, to its conclusion; I am unpacking my own complicated feelings with the lack of relationship with my own father and my inability or unwillingness to trust men in general. I think my distrust stems from that lack of relationship. It is a persistent feeling of being unsettled and always being in a code shift mode. Never feeling comfortable in my own skin around family and people of color nor anyone else for that matter. It is overwhelming feeling of anger when you are in the corporate sphere, and in an order to function successfully, you have to do and interact with people you generally would not interact with and systems and processes that you wouldn’t generally have to do if you ran shit. All I want to do is listen/read every book on the planet and publish my podcast!

He connected with forever POTUS on a whole other level. He was not alone both returning from American names given by white mothers, Barry to Barrack and William to Yeme as a way to connect to their African heritages. Both married 2 formidable Michelles, both lawyers and beautiful.

During his tenure at Catholic in DC he would meet and work not only for the amazing forever POTUS but also in Nancy Pelosi’s racially diverse and supportive office, historical as we cannot and should not forget. But it was also during his tenure at this Catholic University, when he was denied the ability to establish an NAACP student organization on campus, it would thrust him on the national stage and into politics.

President Obama remains an amazing mentor and represents so much to the author and to all of us. Dedication to service, praising and recognizing greatness in everyone around him. Not arrogant but magnetic. For a pig and sociopath like the previous President, if you know you are so beneath someone like him you have to make fun and seek to destroy a true legacy.

A life of service and enjoying it. During Obama Presidency came the greatest of funding to HBCUs and expanded the Pell Grant continuing to expand our, African Americans, knowledge and preparation for a dream almost thwarted.

The White Lash of his presidency and the demand for protection of racism to support White Supremacy continues with domestic terroism, cumulating to Jan 6 Riots, heightened hate speech on the news and social media. However, Yeme processed even all of this negativity to become empathetic, knowledgeable, great father, and progressive politician.

I hate living with regrets but that’s my only regret letting go of pettiness and being able to develop a relationship with my own father . It’s easier for me or I find it easier to cut people off without any problems because I realize before I can get close to people and have them hurt me even more I have emotional walls up preventing me from developing strong emotional connections with people. I always have in the back of my mind if the relationship does not serve me or the greater good we are done or it will only be superficial. The further I get from my 20s I realize from a financial or emotional standpoint I have more to lose and I can’t bounce back like I want, so I’m very reluctant to have any type of emotional ties to people at this stage in my life. But this is not living, and I have to figure out a way to be able to bring down those walls and create relationships.

I now have added most if not all of President Obama’s books to my bookshop, Far From Beale St. Books, to celebrate this great African American, and have my next several books for my blog and Podcast.

In spite of some real emotional trauma and his dreams of playing basketball in college were dashed, the setbacks did not define him or he stayed down. He kept hustling!

I will write next chapter, being me or strive to be a better version of myself. I want to finish the rewrite for my Black Woman Down Screen Play and I want my Podcast to move from hobby to my job.

Dream, Hustle, Succeed, Repeat!